I love my master;

Thus I perfume myself with

This long rotten squirrel.

 

 

I lie belly-up

In the sunshine, happier than

You ever will be

 

 

Today I sniffed

Many dog butts-I celebrate

By kissing your face.

 

 

I sound the alarm!

Mailman Fiend-come to kill us all-

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

 

 

I sound the alarm!

Neighbor’s cat-come to kill us all!

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

 

 

I lift my leg and

Wiz on each bush. Hello, Boss –

Sniff this and weep

 

 

How do I love thee?

The ways are numberless as

My hairs on the rug.

 

 

My human is home!

I am so ecstatic I have

Made a puddle

 

 

I hate my choke chain –

Look, world, they strangle me! Ack

Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

 

Sleeping here, my chin

On your foot – no greater bliss – well,

Maybe catching rats

 

 

Look in my eyes and

Deny it. No human could

Love you as much I do

 

 

The cat is not all

Bad-she fills the litter box

With Tootsie Rolls

 

 

Dig under fence-why?

Because it’s there. Because it’s

There. Because it’s there.

 

 

I am your best friend,

Now, always, and especially

When you are eating.